What's new?

What's new you ask? O! A lot! ha ha.

Lets see...

Christmas with my family was great, and sadly it was my grandma's last Christmas with us. We made it a good one :). Travis and I went to Nashville for a Titans game the weekend of New Years. I experienced my first ever New Year's Eve bash in downtown Nashville. It was a lot of fun, but scary too. If you know me, you know I do not like crowds.... esp drunk crowds at night! It was a great trip and I can't wait to do it again this year.

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On February 19, it was a very very very hard day for my family. We had to sit there and say our final good byes to my grandmother as she went on the be with Jesus. She had been sick for a while and suffered from COPD. It was a very very hard thing to do because the love for my grandmother was overwhelming, she was loved by many and will be missed forever. I am sad to think that she will never meet my children and be a part of their lives, but I will be sure to tell them what a fire cracker she was :).

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 In March Travis and I celebrated 12 years as being a couple, we started dating March 6, 2001 when he asked me to be his girlfriend :) I can't believe it's been that long!! We were so young then :). I am so happy and grateful that God brought Travis to me.

and that about wraps it up :) Nothing else really happened that was big that I didn't post about already :)

Approved

So, I know it's been a while since I have wrote on this blog, but as of April 1 (I don't remember the exact date, so we will just go with April 1), we are officially approved foster parents!! Yay us :)

We haven't had a call for placement yet, BUT we did get a phone call the other day to keep 2 little girls over night for another foster couple (it's called Respite care). We didn't really want to do respite care, but we decided we couldn't pass up 2 little girls (age 2 and 5). It will give us some practice to keep other people's children besides Lillian & Jonah :). We are super excited and I know I am super nervous!

I am hopeful that this will open doors and other opportunities for us to become the best foster parents we can be and we can help out those children in the time they need us :)

May 1....

On May 1, 2012 at 12:00pm I got a phone call that I thought was going to forever change my life..

It changed my life alright, and at the time I didn't think it was for the good. I got the call saying that my Frozen Embryo Transfer we did with donor embryos was a negative. It was an awful day. I cried, in the public bathroom floor of a movie theater. Cried my eyes out. Gathered myself up and went about my life. We grieved, we prayed, and most importantly we didn't give up hope. 

We knew that God had a reason for that blood test to be negative. There was a reason we had to go through that heart ache. We do not know that reason yet, but I feel that soon God will show it to us. 

In the last year, we have grown so much as a couple and our faith in God. 

We would not be where we are today without that horrible phone call from my nurse that day. We would not be pursuing foster care (or even adoption) if I did end up pregnant and we would not be there for a child in need someday. 

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On May 1, 2013 the daycare that I work at had our first ever lock down that was not a drill. It was a scary day. There was a threat made to the Pre-K next door and since we are on the same campus, we had to undergo lock-down as well. The children were asleep during the whole thing, so it wasn't so bad at the time for them. Thinking about what could have happened was very scary. Those kids are my babies, the closest I have ever had to children. It is my job to protect them and their parents trust us to protect them. I can't even begin to think of how I would feel if something did actually happen. 

So far, May 1 (for the past 2 years) has not been a good day in my book! Maybe May 1, 2014 will be a much much better day! :)

Christmas with family

Christmas was great with family this year :) Even though a child would have made things so much better, we had a great time :).

We went to Travis's parents house on Christmas eve and then that evening we went to my parents. On Christmas Day we went to my grandparents house down in Hickory.

Here are a few pictures of the evening (I will add some from his parents house when I get them).


My gift from Travis (well, I picked them out a while ago)

Me and my brother, sister and parents. 

  Travis and I at my grandparents house

Update on Foster Care...

I thought I should post something since I haven't posted since October!!! I am a bad blogger :-/.

Lets see.. nothing new really.

November 19 was our last MAPP class (the classes needed for foster care) so we are officially done with that. Alice (our social worker) came out and did our homestudy, which we passed of course :). The fire marshal came out and looked at our house, which we passed as well. Travis also did his CPR/First Aid course and we turned in all our final paperwork a couple weeks ago. I figured with the holidays, it will take a while for our social worker to get everything together and sent it, which is fine. We have to have one more home visit and wait for our social worker to send it all in, and then wait some more. We were told that the wait could take up to 40 days, so we are looking like Spring before we can accept any children.

Other than that, we couldn't be more ready!!! The holidays would have been great-no-AWESOME-with a child (or 2) but God has perfect timing and He knows which perfect child will soon be in our home!!! We are so excited. So until then, just keep praying.

Nursery Pics

I guess I never did post pics of the nursery. We finally got the crib together, we have had it since last year but never had it in me to put it together. I was always afraid I wouldn't get a baby if I did put it together. We finally realized we needed it together since we will eventually get a child through foster care, whether they are our forever baby or not!

So here are a few pics of the nursery.

We absolutely can not wait to have a child in there!!! May it be for a couple of weeks, years or forever. We eventually will get a toddler bed to go in there as well!! We are so excited for this adventure to begin and know that God is the real reason we are going through this :). Its all His plan and we just need to go with the flow and accept His plan in all we do :) Please continue to pray for us during this time as well :)

The Bible and Infertility

I posted on this topic once before on my infertility blog, but it's been on my mind lately. How there was also infertility linked in the Bible.

Yes, even way back then, there was women w/ infertility... 


Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Hannah, Elizabeth
Just to name a few...

There are many stories of women in the Bible who struggle with infertility and the pain of not having children.

The Bible not only shares the stories of these "barren women" but also offers hope and comfort during these times.

God indeed is the creator of life and the God of comfort and peace.

I will share some of their stories from the Bible and other verses that offer hope to those who may also consider themselves "barren" today.

But more important than finding out about the stories of these women is the possibility of finding our own hope in this journey; to be encouraged in whatever stage of our journeys we are at.


Sarah's Story 
the wife of Abraham

Sarah is married to Abraham. She is unable to conceive, although married for many years. Eventually she is not only unable to conceive but beyond childbearing years. (ie she is old as well...)

Ironically she is married to Abraham who has been promised descendants that will number like the stars in the sky and the sand on a beach. A great promise and yet for Abraham and Sarah, the fulfilment seems beyond all reach.

It is at this point that The Lord comes to Abraham once more.

"Then the LORD said, I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son. Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him.

11 Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing.

12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought,
After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?

13 Then the LORD said to Abraham, Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?'

14 Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son.

And the result??? Not long after this Sarah and Abraham's son Isaac is born, one of the great patriarchs of the Jewish people.

"For nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37)


What does the story of Sarah teach us? 

God is faithful to his promises. What he promised to Abraham and Sarah he was faithful in fulfilling. God does not make this exact same promise to each of us but we do learn something else from Sarah's story:
God is the giver of life and he can bring about miracles. We do not know what God may be doing in our lives - even when it seems like he is not doing anything at all.
God can surprise us!

Hannah

Hannah's Story
Hannah is perhaps best known for her struggle with infertility.


The book of 1 Samuel begins with the verses
"1 There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. 2 He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none." (1 Samuel 1:1-2)

I always reflect on what could be worse than feeling you have disappointed your husband by not being able to get pregnant? To be one of your husbands two wives, always being compared to her and her abundance of children. Not only was her husbands other wife extremely fertile; it was not a healthy relationship...

"6 And because the LORD had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" (1 Samuel 1:6-8)

Yet one thing I love about the image we have of Hannah in the Bible is of her honesty and of her pouring out her pain and heartbreak to God. Rather than become bitter and turn from God she reaches out to him at her time of need and calls on him to answer her prayer.

"10 In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. 11 And she made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head."
12 As she kept on praying to the LORD, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, "How long will you keep on getting drunk? Get rid of your wine."
15 "Not so, my lord," Hannah replied, "I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the LORD. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:10-16)

And God answers her prayer. And this answer is Samuel, who becomes a famous priest of God.
What does the story of Hannah teach us?
What do we learn from Hannah?

God wants us to turn to him. We don't have to pretend we are without pain, but can give this to God and know that he can answer our prayers.

"In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD."
In Hannah's words - "I am a woman who is deeply troubled... pouring out my soul to the LORD... out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:10-16)

There is no pretense that she is not hurting, not blindly trusting God but really wrestling with the pain of infertility.

I know that I too can take my pain to the creator of the universe and pour out my soul to him.