It changed my life alright, and at the time I didn't think it was for the good. I got the call saying that my Frozen Embryo Transfer we did with donor embryos was a negative. It was an awful day. I cried, in the public bathroom floor of a movie theater. Cried my eyes out. Gathered myself up and went about my life. We grieved, we prayed, and most importantly we didn't give up hope.
We knew that God had a reason for that blood test to be negative. There was a reason we had to go through that heart ache. We do not know that reason yet, but I feel that soon God will show it to us.
In the last year, we have grown so much as a couple and our faith in God.
We would not be where we are today without that horrible phone call from my nurse that day. We would not be pursuing foster care (or even adoption) if I did end up pregnant and we would not be there for a child in need someday.
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On May 1, 2013 the daycare that I work at had our first ever lock down that was not a drill. It was a scary day. There was a threat made to the Pre-K next door and since we are on the same campus, we had to undergo lock-down as well. The children were asleep during the whole thing, so it wasn't so bad at the time for them. Thinking about what could have happened was very scary. Those kids are my babies, the closest I have ever had to children. It is my job to protect them and their parents trust us to protect them. I can't even begin to think of how I would feel if something did actually happen.
So far, May 1 (for the past 2 years) has not been a good day in my book! Maybe May 1, 2014 will be a much much better day! :)
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